I found this. It's a good thing I practiced writing with Josephine so I didn't make a fool out of myself. Hmm. Is it a good thing? Would I not be able to understand my own writing? It's possible. This will be good practice. It will also be nice to put down thoughts.
I'm trapped. I'm stuck here in this city and it is a nice city, but it is not Skyhold and I can not leave. I am very scared. I worry constantly about the Inquisition. About the Breach. About Corypheus. I fixed the breach but he is out there, and he is trying to break it again, I am sure. I've worried myself sick twice now, and I can't afford to keep making myself ill. So I will try to calm down. There is nothing I can do.
Is it wrong to wish that my companions had come with me? At least they are free to be able to continue our work, but...I miss them. So much. I miss people, really.
I'm lonely. I miss my friends.
It's odd to not be important anymore, but I feel like it would be petty to miss that. But being realistic, is it that odd? I don't need to be worshiped, but I would like to be respected. I didn't work hard to become the Herald, but I have worked hard to become the Inquisitor. I was the one who spilled my blood fighting demons, and red templars, and every evil creature that can be thrown at a person. I had to fight within my own mind, and kill an envy demon. And yet, none of that matters now. I'm just another elf squatting in a ruin, poor and worthless.
My mark doesn't even work. I have no clan, no Inquisition, and no mark.
And no friends. No people at all. I would welcome anyone who at least knew of Thedas, at this point, yet I am alone in a bigger way than I ever dreamed possible.
I feel as if I am very entitled to melodrama right about now, and I will thoroughly indulge myself in it, until I feel better about the situation.
In the meantime, I still need to survive, so I will be attempting to grow herbs and hunt. I can trade what I don't need. The park offers enough small game for me to eat comfortably, but I have a list of things I need.
-Better bed. Bedroll? More blankets? -Clean apothecary. Need rags or mop. -Vegetables (meat and elfroot not going to cut it) -Pot to cook in -More arrows
I'm sure there is more, and I will write them when I think of them. I'm very lucky, the apothecary is a fairly decent place to stay. It's always warm, and there is warm indoor water here! Even indoor toilets. There's a fireplace where I can cook. It's very convenient, all in all. I could do a lot worse.
I get stares but so far no one has been rude to me, it's much like when we were at Haven still. I can survive stares. As long as no one is shoving me in an alienage, I'll be fine.
I feel better, thinking about these positive things. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'll weather through it. I'm an elf, and we have survived everything that everyone has thrown at us thus far, and I will continue to do so.
[Back dated to a week ago]
I'm trapped. I'm stuck here in this city and it is a nice city, but it is not Skyhold and I can not leave. I am very scared. I worry constantly about the Inquisition. About the Breach. About Corypheus. I fixed the breach but he is out there, and he is trying to break it again, I am sure. I've worried myself sick twice now, and I can't afford to keep making myself ill. So I will try to calm down. There is nothing I can do.
Is it wrong to wish that my companions had come with me? At least they are free to be able to continue our work, but...I miss them. So much. I miss people, really.
I'm lonely. I miss my friends.
It's odd to not be important anymore, but I feel like it would be petty to miss that. But being realistic, is it that odd? I don't need to be worshiped, but I would like to be respected. I didn't work hard to become the Herald, but I have worked hard to become the Inquisitor. I was the one who spilled my blood fighting demons, and red templars, and every evil creature that can be thrown at a person. I had to fight within my own mind, and kill an envy demon. And yet, none of that matters now. I'm just another elf squatting in a ruin, poor and worthless.
My mark doesn't even work. I have no clan, no Inquisition, and no mark.
And no friends. No people at all. I would welcome anyone who at least knew of Thedas, at this point, yet I am alone in a bigger way than I ever dreamed possible.
I feel as if I am very entitled to melodrama right about now, and I will thoroughly indulge myself in it, until I feel better about the situation.
In the meantime, I still need to survive, so I will be attempting to grow herbs and hunt. I can trade what I don't need. The park offers enough small game for me to eat comfortably, but I have a list of things I need.
-Better bed. Bedroll? More blankets?
-Clean apothecary. Need rags or mop.
-Vegetables (meat and elfroot not going to cut it)
-Pot to cook in
-More arrows
I'm sure there is more, and I will write them when I think of them. I'm very lucky, the apothecary is a fairly decent place to stay. It's always warm, and there is warm indoor water here! Even indoor toilets. There's a fireplace where I can cook. It's very convenient, all in all. I could do a lot worse.
I get stares but so far no one has been rude to me, it's much like when we were at Haven still. I can survive stares. As long as no one is shoving me in an alienage, I'll be fine.
I feel better, thinking about these positive things. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'll weather through it. I'm an elf, and we have survived everything that everyone has thrown at us thus far, and I will continue to do so.
Ir suledin nadas. I must endure.